Please welcome our guest writer today, the good Reverend James Adams, of the Church of New Redeeming Light.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
We stand on the brink of a great precipice. Our great country, nay all of mankind, are more prepared than ever to live lives of fulfillment and joy.
But, there are those among us who seek to disrupt this Utopia. People like British author J.R.R. Rowling, and his books of evil and sorcery which are prevalent among the ignorant youths of our society. These books are pure, concentrated evil, in paperback form. Only by understanding this evil, and rallying against it, can our world be saved. With that, I present to you 13 indisputable facts, which we will refer to as: